on cohabitating

Is that even a word? After typing it and saying it in my head, it doesn't seem like it. Anyway, we are five months into this cohabitation deal. A few One of you may be wondering how things are going so far. I'm happy to report that we're doing pretty well. We have had our ups and downs though, which I'm sure everyone who has lived with their significant other can attest to.

Most of our issues come from the general upkeep of our apartment. Before we moved in, K was not-so-secretly under the impression that I was kinda sloppy. That's not true. I'm not anal about keeping things neat and tidy, but I'm no slob either. In my opinion, we're pretty even in that category. He leaves socks in the living room, leaves his gaming chair in the middle of the room, leaves the toilet seat up, and throws his dirty clothes ON TOP OF the laundry bag. In turn, I sometimes leave dishes in the sink overnight, leave bobby pins laying around, and shed hair on the sink and bathroom floor. No big deal, but I hate when he complains about that shit while I'm standing on one of his many socks in the living room.

Money-wise, things are okay. We're comfortable, considering, but there have definitely been some sacrifices. We don't go out as often as we did before we moved in together because now we have these little annoying things called bills to pay. I know, right? The perils of being an adult. We could certainly be doing worse though, so I'm thankful we are in the financial position we are in until the economy collapses and everything goes to shit.

Our relationship is better these days. Things got a bit rocky in the beginning, and maybe I'll go into the details some other time, but for now we're good. We talked and worked out some things, but other issues still need to be discussed. Aaand that's enough of that cryptic ass paragraph.

So yeah, all in all, I'm happy. I feel at home here. Now to make some friends...

we got the apartment!

Insert [panic, excitement, worry, happiness].

April 1st, dudes. Babe and I are getting our own place. Part of me is super excited, part of me is worried. On the one hand, I'm excited to be with him on our own and to start our lives together. On the other hand, now that it's a reality, I'm filled with worry. What if I don't find a job? We saved a good amount of money and he has a good job, but will it be enough? And during these crazy, scary ass times in the U.S., what if something big happens? My dad is very into politics and every day he tells me or has me read something new about this effed up country and I can't help but feel anxious and worried. The stuff he tells me makes me feel like I've been punched in the stomach and sometimes I can't handle it. How am I supposed to live my life and go on about my business while the world is crumbling around us? I prayed that if this situation was going to be okay, that we would get this apartment so I'm just holding onto my faith that we will be okay. Everything is gloom and doom though, so I don't know...

Anyway, that's not what this post was supposed to be about. So. Moving. Yes.

My fiance's brother is giving us a sofa, so that's one less piece of furniture we have to buy which is awesome. It's not really my style, but who am I to turn down free furniture? I also remembered my mom has 4 matching chairs that we don't use, so I'm going to spruce them up with some Rustoleum and new fabric. These also aren't my style, but once again free is free. We still need a table and some other stuff. And now that we don't have to buy a couch, babe is contemplating buying a queen sized bed rather than the full I already have. A bigger bed would be great but that means buying the mattress, a platform, and new bedding. I'm not sure if I'm for it. We've also pretty much settled on just taking one of my dressers. I think we'd be better off with the two but we'll just have to make it work.

So there we have it. I'm moving. Oh boy. Aw yeah.

am i an asshole?

So I put in my two weeks notice at work today.

No, I don't have another job lined up yet.

I've been asking myself (and so have others) why I chose to do this. For one, I hate my job. There was a point in time when I was okay working there. They made it seem like I had potential and they had plans for me, but really it was some bullshit. I have a couple of coworkers that can ruin my day just by being around me. I don't need that. I feel like I'm stuck there. I didn't go to school to be a sales associate in a department store. That's not for me. I want to do something in my field. So that's what I'm striving for.

Also, I'm ready to get a move on with my adult life. I'll be 25 this year. It's time for me and the fiance to get ourselves together. After I leave my job, I'll have time to go to Maryland and look for jobs in or near the neighborhood where we plan on moving. I have some money saved and my parents said they're behind me. After delaying it, I'm hoping this move will happen in March. If not, I'll just have to find another job here. As much as I love K., I can't wait for him forever.

So with that, here's to a happy new year and a bright future for myself and my love. This year I need to be better to myself. Like most people, I want to lose weight. I don't hate the way I look, but I know I can look much better. I have to let go of my bad habits. I also want to get back into art. I've kind of let it fall to the wayside. If I plan on working in an art-related position, I should probably actually work on my art. I got some new paints, canvases, brushes, and an easel so I have no excuse now.

So that's it. The stuff I need to work on this year:
* Move to Maryland
* New job
* New apartment
* Lose weight
* Get back to my artwork

stir crazy

So... I'm not moving this month. This is annoying.

Basically, the fiance is helping his mom out at home and out of four sons (he's the youngest) he's the only one doing so. His brothers have their own stuff going on, but I still don't think it's fair to him to be the only one helping his mom out. He's young, engaged, and it's time for him to get out on his own. I'm ready to move too. I need him to move with me though because I'd be starting fresh in a different state. I don't drive and I don't have a job lined up yet (hoping to remedy that asap). So if I want to find a job there I need somewhere to live while I search. I have no vacation time at my job so it's not like I can go down there for long stretches at a time and the internet searches haven't been very helpful.

Also, the apartment search hasn't been going very well either. A nice apartment in this area costs the same as a shitty apartment in Maryland. It's crazy. I'd love to rent something in a renovated house (think Income Property) or a cute little townhouse. The only thing I can think of is for us to get a condo because the mortgage, utilities, and fees would probably cost less than renting an apartment would. I just don't know if we're ready for that step yet. I'm just ready to have my own space. I'm tired of seeing my honey once a month rather than every day. It's been almost seven years. It's time! Well, off I go to dream and admire condos online.

a year later..

It's been a year and three days since I last posted. I think I'm back. I was just bored with my blog and the internet in general. I tried starting over with different blogs and whatnot, but nothing felt like "home". Well my interest is back for now, so here we go.

So what's new?
I got engaged to my boyfriend of 6 years in January. We're planning on getting a place in September if I can find a job in the metro MD/DC area. I'm looking forward to moving in with him and getting started on wedding planning. I'm still working in retail, making a bit more money than I used to but still trying to get out and do better. I just wanna be awesome.

And the blog?
I don't know, really, what this blog will turn into. The biggest reason I had to leave it alone for all this time was because I was tired of being anonymous, but at the same time I didn't want to put my shit out there to be stumbled upon by someone who would be disappointed with what they saw. I still don't know how to address this. Time will tell, I guess.

Well that's enough about me. Tootles.